We are gathered here today to honor the memory of all the celeb couples who broke each other's hearts — and our own, in the process — this past year.
From the veteran pairs we thought would last forever (looking at you, Channing and Jenna) to the ones who always seemed like a ticking time bomb (uh... I'll let you decide that for yourself), there were as many breakups as there were whirlwind marriages in 2018.
Revisit all of them below — preferably with "thank u, next" playing on loop.
Niall Horan and Hailee Steinfeld
Sorry, #Nailee shippers — this wound is still super fresh. The Bumblebee star and the Irish crooner got together in February only to have their spark "flicker" out just before the holidays. Guess Hailee will have to go back to loving herself and only herself.
Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan
More than a decade after meeting on the set of Step Up in 2006, the dancing duo announced in April that they'd "lovingly chosen" to separate. They'd been married for nearly nine years and share a 4-year-old daughter, Everly, but they insisted they'd remain "best friends".
Emma Watson and Chord Overstreet
What's that? You'd forgotten these two were ever a thing at all? That's probably because they kept their relationship super low-key — hence that sketchy pap shot above, sorry — and never publicly spoke about it.
Still, the Harry Potter alum and the Glee star reportedly dated for several months, but are now old history — Emma's seemingly moved on with a snazzy tech CCEO named Brendan Wallace.
Amber Rose and 21 Savage
Despite this pair's clear adoration for each other — never forget the time 21 said Amber "makes me do shit that I don't normally do, like take vitamins and drink water" — they broke up in March after two years of dating.
By May, though, Amber was sparking reunion rumors by professing her love for the rapper on Instagram, writing, "I love this man so much. I know the internet portrays me to be some heartless person or they feel like I'm incapable of love but I love him so hard."
She later deleted the post, though, signaling that their relationship really is history.
Chloë Grace Moretz and Brooklyn Beckham
The young lovebirds dated on and off for four years before calling it quits again in April. She later said in a magazine interview that "break-ups are hard," and may or may not have thrown some shade at his PDA-packed outings with other girls.
But both parties seem to have happily moved on (and with models, no less!) — in the past couple weeks, Chloe was photographed kissing Playboy model Kate Harrison, while Brooklyn attended Britain's very posh Fashion Awards with model Hana Cross.
Logic and Jessica Andrea
Despite giving us a VMA red carpet photoshoot for the ages the year prior, these two issued a joint statement in March announcing they were divorcing after two years of marriage.
To prevent the rumor mill from going crazy, they made sure to clarify, "It's very simple: It just didn't work out. There is no anger involved. No fighting, no cheating, no nothing. We love each other and will continue to support each other for the rest of our lives."
Cardi B and Offset
After almost two years of wild moments together — marked by matching Lambos, wedding vows, and more — Cardi revealed on Instagram that their marriage was over.
"Things just haven't been working out between us for a long time, and it's nobody's fault. It's just that I guess we grew out of love," she said, assuring fans that they remain committed to co-parenting their baby daughter, Kulture.
But Offset seems just as committed to winning Cardi back; the Migos rapper interrupted his estranged wife's historic Rolling Loud set to very publicly ask for forgiveness with flowers and a cake that read, "TAKE ME BACK CARDI." Whatever happens next, pour one out for rap's first couple.
Nicki Minaj and Nas
The internet went crazy after the rap royals began posting couple-y pics on social media last year. But come 2018, they'd reportedly stopped seeing each other after around seven months of dating. Don't cry for the Queen though — she's got another man in her life now.
Liam Payne and Cheryl Coles
The British singers' meet-cute was one of the more bizarre celeb stories we've heard — they first met when he auditioned for X Factor while she was a judge — but their two-year relationship appeared lovely.
Sadly, Liam announced on July 1 that it was over between them but that they're still committed to sharing parental duties for 1-year-old son Bear.
Halsey and G-Eazy
There's no more "Him & I" for these two. The on-again-off-again couple — once purveyors of PDA, heavy on the "P" — split up this summer, then got back together for a few weeks, and then broke up again in late October.
All of Halsey's feelings about the relationship seem to be summed up in her most recent single, "Without Me", which samples Justin Timberlake's "Cry Me a River." That should tell you all you need to know.
Sam Smith and Brandon Flynn
A few of my favorite things from 2017, as shit as some of it was can't help but see all the good! Hoping 2018 is full of ups and downs as well... saw Call Me By Your Name today and couldn't help myself... "In your place, if there is pain, nurse it, and if there is a flame, don't snuff it out, don't be brutal with it. Withdrawal can be a terrible thing when it keeps us awake at night, and watching others forget us sooner than we'd want to be forgotten is no better. We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of 30 and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything—what a waste!"
After nine months of tongue-heavy smooching, cute Instas, and even a date to the Grammys, the soulful singer and the 13 Reasons Why actor called it quits in June.
Smith subsequently deleted all his photos of Flynn from Instagram and admitted the split was "still quite raw," but hopefully that just means he'll write more killer heartbreak anthems about it.
Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson
Their zero-to-100 relationship came to a screeching halt in mid-October, after a summer filled with matching tattoos, a pet pig, a date to the VMAs, and one heck of a rock on Ari's finger. In the end, they dated for five months and were engaged for four of them: the definition of a "whirlwind."
Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux
Don't know about you, but this one still stings. Jen and Justin started dating in 2011, got engaged in 2012, tied the knot in 2015, and announced their separation in February of this year.
In a joint statement they released to the Associated Press, they revealed that the decision to break up was "mutual and lovingly made" and that they're still "two best friends."
Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff
These two technically called it quits in December after five years together, but their split wasn't made public until January. It was reportedly "mutual," and it probably did not have anything to do with Lorde. Probably.
Diddy and Cassie
If Channing and Jenna are the exes on this list with the longest history together, then Diddy and Cassie are surely the runner-ups.
The music mogul and the singer/songwriter parted ways in October after 10 years of dating on and off (they made their couple debut in 2012, but had been secretly dating since '07). At least we'll still have that epic Met Gala photoshoot to remember them by.
Noah Cyrus and Lil Xan
Most couples on this list handled their breakups in gracious fashion, but not Noah and Xan. When news of their split broke in September, they got involved in a very public and very messy breakup that unfolded on social media for all to see.
Millie Bobby Brown and Jacob Sartorius
Happy birthday to this beautiful girl, 14!! you're the funniest, most caring person in the entire world. I hope this year brings you lots of great memories and moments you remember forever. Can't wait to see you, I love you and miss you so much!! ❤️ @milliebbrown pic.twitter.com/x9ttHDNUY2— Jacob Sartorius (@jacobsartorius) February 19, 2018
It's a wild world when two teens issue a joint statement about their breakup, but that's exactly what Millie and Jacob did when their seven-month relationship fizzled out in July.
Taking to Instagram Stories (obviously), they said the decision was "completely mutual" and that they're "both happy and remaining friends." And it looks like they did exactly that — in October, she sweetly and publicly wished her ex a happy 16th birthday.
Chris Evans and Jenny Slate
We all had a special place in our hearts for these two, which meant that when they rekindled their spark over the holidays last year, we waited with bated breath for more interviews where Slate would describe Captain America as "primary colors" and as having a "golden-colored" heart.
But the actors broke up once again earlier this year, with a New York Times profile on Evans that stated, "their on-again, off-again relationship, beloved by the internet, recently ended." Cue all the tears.
— Madeline Roth