Pulling into victory lane, it's Speed Racer!
Speed Racer
By Joseph Tan
Director: The Warchowski Brothers
Starring: Emile Hirsch, Christina Ricci, Matthew Fox, John Goodman, Susan Sarandon, Rain.
Official website: http:// http://speedracerthemovie.warnerbros.com/
A monkey cavorts around as the end credits for Speed Racer, the movie adaptation of the cult 1960s cartoon, rolls. And if that's not the best way to sum up this childish, middling piece of entertainment, I don't know what is.
But let's start at the beginning, or at least, some sort of a beginning. I have a friend, and when he was eight, his appendix nearly burst. He was rushed to hospital, where he given general anesthesia and wheeled to the operation room. The doctor promised the worried parents that he'd be unconscious until the next morning.
Two hours after the operation, at 6 p.m. sharp, my friend woke up. At eight, every kid's life revolves around cartoons, and my semi-conscious friend had willed himself to conscious so he could watch his favorite cartoon.
Twenty years later, my friend is a responsible adult who has cartoons, for the large part, by the wayside. One day, he happened upon a re-run of that particular cartoon, and, feeling nostalgic, watched it. 30 minutes later, he uttered in disbelief: "I forced myself awake from general anesthesia for this crap?"
After two hours and 15 minutes spent watching Speed Racer, you too will be asking a variation of the same question (namely: "I paid 10 bucks for this crap?"). And the reasons would be more or less the same. Either you had a) fond memories of the original cartoon, or b) you had fond memories of previous movies by directors The Warchowski Brothers (The Matrix Trilogy).
The problem is, Speed Racer and the Warchowskis are a bad fit. Since the end of the Matrix trilogy, the brothers have seemed unwilling to work on the same epic canvas (they ceded directorial duties for V For Vendetta, a project that seemed tailor-made for their sensibilities, to James McTeigue). Unfortunately, in trying to adapt a Saturday morning favorite into a family-friendly blockbuster, the Warchowskis have deprived themselves of a chance to indulge in the narrative and metaphysical hi-jinks that have become their calling card. Subversive, pretentious, revelatory, provocative - call them what you will, but the Warchowskis have never been anything less than entertaining.
Until now, that is. Watcing Speed Racer is basically like watching a race where you can predict where and when every move, every pit-stop and every crash is going to take place to the exact detail. You just know it's a bad sign when you can guess who the mysterious Racer X is really supposed to be as soon as he appears.
You also know you're going nowhere fast when the film takes the safest route from A to B, and isn't afraid to use cliches and plot contrivances to help it get there. Characters also have the tendency to suddenly reveal heretofore unmentioned skills whenever the plot is in danger of stalling, and worse of all, there is no sense of emotional conflict and physical peril to the proceedings. This might work for half hour cartoons, but not for movies, where you need to be invested in your characters. With nothing at stake, why should anyone care about this paint-by-numbers film?
Speaking of paint, Speed Racer has a look that can only be described as an explosion in the paint factory. Which is great at first in providing temporary relief from a stop-start script, but unfortunately, this orgy of color and hues is combined with a messy barrage of camera movements and multi-layered green screen effects. In theory, it's the perfect hyperkinetic, retro look for a movie based on a cartoon, but in reality (and when it comes to Speed Racer, I use this word lightly), it just serves to alienate and deaden the viewer.
It's ironic that the best things about the unreal, CGI world of Speed Racer are its flesh-and blood components. Other than the bland and uninteresting Emile Hirsch, who plays the bland and uninteresting Speed Racer, and Korean heart-throb Rain - who seems to be in the film only to sell tickets to Asian cinema-goers - the cast are the only ones who manage to salvage something from this car wreck. Screen veterans John Goodman and Susan Sarandon are a steady presence in this lightweight piece of fluff, while Lost's Matthew Fox shows up to put his prominent chin and smooth baritone to good use as the leather-clad Racer X. And Roger Allam manages to inject some insidious malice and evil to an otherwise hammy, cartoon villain.
But if there's one reason to watch Speed Racer, it's Christina Ricci as Speed's love interest, Trixie. Unbelievably wide-eyed, she shifts the film up a gear every time she appears. Equal parts girl-next-door innocence and gung-ho spunk, Ricci is by far the most promising sign of life in Speed Racer's plastic universe. Impossibly, she actually looks like she's having fun, which is something audiences will find in short supply in this movie, despite the best efforts of the chimp in the end credits. Perhaps when it comes time to make a Speed Racer sequel, the Warchowskis will just put the chimp in a car with Ricci. We can only hope.
|
|||||
